Anxiety

Why can’t I be like everyone else?

“Why? Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I be like all the other moms with their carefree smiles and that personality that just attracts people like moths to a flame? Why do I always feel so awkward and out-of-place? Why do I feel so nervous and anxious?”

Erin’s thoughts run on repeat as she suffers in silence while quietly setting up cupcakes. She didn’t want to volunteer but was left with no choice. Every parent was asked to do SOMETHING, and she really

wanted her daughter (Leah) to attend the school trip. Erin burns water and would not be able to look anyone in the eye if they didn’t like her baking, so she bought the cupcakes for the bake sale.

Negative Self-Talk That Goes On (and On)

Erin was relieved to find her neighbor (Debbie) there—although she’s pretty sure Debbie doesn’t even know her name. Hey, at least she’s a familiar face. Debbie waves and Erin started to wave back, only to realize Debbie was waving to someone behind Erin. “How EMBARRASSING!” Erin thought to herself.

Erin continues to herself, “And you thought this feeling would end after high school? I guess you were wrong. How are you going to survive 3 more years of this? Leah is so involved in school and activities; if she knew how uncomfortable this makes you and how socially awkward you really are, she’d be so embarrassed. Well, she’s going to find out soon enough. You’re definitely about to make a fool of yourself sooner than later.”

Erin attempts to dry her sweaty palms on her jeans. She has cotton-mouth, and she now scolds herself for not grabbing the bottle of water sitting on the counter as she rushed out of the house. She attempts (and fails) to control her shaky hands. “Almost done,” she continues to remind herself.

Never “Growing Out” of Those Thoughts and Feelings

She’s taken back to her sophomore year in high school. It was the school carnival and she was asked to help run the Young Authors pizza stand. She was left alone to take the peoples orders and money. She actually had to talk to people. She dropped a couple of pizza slices while handing them to customers, and she stumbled over her words so badly, she remembered someone asking if English was her second language.

Erin enjoyed being with her friends and doing fun things, but talking to strangers was something she dreaded. She often wished she could be more involved and enjoy socializing. She just didn’t. And she sure as heck never grew out of it, as her mother always suggested she would. Her mother even took her to a doctor once who said she had “anxiety.” But it wasn’t something talked about. It was more of a foreign concept, and Erin’s parents were more the “suck it up and deal with it” type of parents. So, Erin just “sucked it up.”

A Dark Cloud of Tension

Erin’s anxiety has always been this dark cloud—always setting limits for her. She finished school, barely—not because of grades but because she forced herself to be around her classmates every morning.

She didn’t really have to talk, but just the thought or possibility or being called on in class, or someone asking her a question made her stomach hurt, and she’d become tense.

Steering Your Life in Other Directions

Erin wanted to teach the classics in literature. It was her dream job. She had such a passion for reading and could interpret even the most difficult literary works. She had a way of helping people understand what they were reading, she helped make assigned reading enjoyable.

She had a job as an English tutor in college. She was never in need of referrals. People would look for her, and she was great at it. Friends and family thought she would be a professor. But, guess what: That involved being in front of a class—speaking and sharing thoughts and ideas without becoming mute.

Erin has also had trouble finding and keeping jobs. She gets the initial interview call, but then she bombs the actual interview once she was in front of the panel. She has gone on so many interviews she lost count.

Her husband was kind enough to suggest that maybe she could step away and work on her writing—maybe even start a family. Which she did.

Getting in the Way of What You Love

She convinced herself she was happy, but she longs for her own career and often wonders what it would be like if her anxiety hadn’t kept her from doing what she loved.

It continues to keep her from what she loves.

Now that her only child is entering high school, she fears it will keep her from being involved with her in all the ways that she could be.

The Many Manifestations of Anxiety

Like Erin, perhaps you suffer from anxiety. Do any of the following signs and symptoms seem familiar?

Physical Experiences

Anxiety can result in bodily sensations, such as hot, cold, tingles, numbness, aches, pains, dryness, or tension—just to name a few.

Cognitive Experiences

Maybe it’s the voice in your head that narrates your day…

“Why does this always happen,” or “He always decides to put me on the spot,” or “You know you can do this!”

Emotional Experiences

They’re the hardest to pin down.

When you’re in the midst of an anxious moment, there are lots of thoughts and inner monologues playing in your head…

And we also can feel the tension, hotness, restlessness… or despair.

Let’s Face This Together

We start by learning what triggers you. Once we know what sets you off, everything else starts to fall in place!

Everyone with anxiety has triggers. They can be situational, real or imagined. It’s important to be able to identify and understand your triggers. Once we know your triggers, we can challenge them, and eventually teach you how to manage them.

Remember the bigger picture, the end goal, FREEDOM!

Don’t allow your anxiety to keep you from doing the things you enjoy. Call today! (559) 360-7918