Depression

Even Getting Out of Bed Feels Like a Struggle

Micah lay quietly in bed on a Saturday morning. He had purposely bought black-out curtains to keep any sunshine from coming into the room. He dreads weekends. He despises weekdays. If he were honest with himself, he would say that he really didn’t like any day. The past few months have been hell.

When his boss told him to take time off, it wasn’t a request—more like a strong recommendation. He knew if he didn’t take time away to get things together, he might lose his job altogether.

He hears Mia and the kids downstairs. They giggle and sing songs while making breakfast. Sleep was always interrupted, if he slept at all. Some mornings he woke before the sun came up; other days he struggled to get up at all.

It has been months since he got out of bed before noon. Today wasn’t any different.

The Haunting Specter of the Past

It was his freshmen year of college, many years ago, that his parents were killed in a car accident.

He pulled it together long enough to get through college, then married Mia, the front office manager at his internship. Together they had a family: a boy and twin girls.

Micah was promoted at his architectural firm quickly. They loved his enthusiasm and creativity. Everyone wanted to work with him and be part of his team.

But designing buildings and drawing blueprints couldn’t fill the void Micah felt. He often thought of his parents and all the things they never got to see him accomplish. They were in that fatal car accident during the fall, just before the holidays. Every year at the same time, a great sadness came over him and he started to isolate and withdraw. He felt the sadness set in, and he threw himself into work. He worked overtime just so he didn’t have to think about how much he hurt inside.

The Void Affects All Areas of Life

But no matter how hard he tried he had trouble concentrating, remembering, and making decisions. His body started to change. He experienced aches, pains, headaches, cramps, and digestive problems. Every day he took a shoebox full of medications for migraines, digestive problems, high blood pressure… but nothing seems to help.

Things for Micah continued to get worse, especially at work. He started to drop the ball on major building accounts and making stupid mistakes. He started forgetting deadlines, misplacing blueprints, and not showing up for meetings.

For Micah, it felt as if the world was closing in. He couldn’t get out of bed and started questioning what he was doing with his life. He started to be the target of office gossip, gained weight, and just stopped caring.

He stopped spending time with his wife and children. Intimacy in his marriage became nonexistent. When he lost major accounts at work and the interest of his wife and children, feelings of worthlessness became overwhelming.

The “Empty Feeling” Won’t Go Away

He wanted to disappear. When he slept, the world wasn’t so heavy. He started looking forward to sleeping the moment he got out of bed.

He couldn’t shake the “empty feeling.”

Thoughts that occasionally crossed his mind started to scare him. What if one day he didn’t wake up? What if he took his car and drove into a telephone pole? What if he decided to take all his pain medication at once?

Thinking about Getting Help

The thoughts came and went, but he became ashamed for even thinking them.

He wasn’t even sure if he wanted his thoughts to become reality. All he knew was he was tired of feeling this way. There was no one to talk to, no one who could possibly understand.

He even considered getting help, but was it too late? Was he so lost, help was pointless?

Someone Does Understand… and Can Help

At this point you’re not living – you’re just trying to survive.

No one wants to have dark days, restless nights, mornings that suck, and this endless dark tunnel with no sign of the darkness ending.

Depression is not a choice, but getting help is.

Please don’t suffer in silence. Call me today: (559) 360-7918