Healing from Emotional Wounds
Flashbacks and Feelings
The smell of burning wood takes Susan back to that night. She knows it’s been years, and she feels crazy for thinking about it. But here she is, sitting around the camp fire with her kids and fiancé, and she just can’t help but think about that night.
Susan is transported back to the night of her apartment fire. Her roommate always told her not to keep the candle so close to the window and curtains, but she couldn’t help it. She loved the breeze and the scent of the candle by the window.
She was startled awake by a loud POP! It was one of the end table lamps as the fire consumed it. Her living room was half-covered in flames. It was almost as if she were watching a movie. She blinked hard two or three times and realized this wasn’t a dream. She didn’t have much time to think, much less time to move.
She ran for the door and felt the intense pain of her skin burning as it made a faint sizzle noise. Susan knew she was hurt but was more worried about getting the door open.
She thinks about how bad the fire could have been that night—how her neighbors with small children could have been hurt. She watches her own children play as that night continues to play in her head.
A loud POP comes from the fire, and Susan jumps to her feet. Almost falling backward, she loses her balance. She notices her heart is beating fast, and she can feel it through her chest. Her breathing is fast and shallow; she does her best to slow it down. Her fiancé notices she’s stumbling around and trying to get her balance, so he asks, “What’s wrong?”
But Susan dismisses the flashback and feelings, all triggered by the smell of the fire and the pop of the wood as it burns. She quickly replies, “Nothing, just thought I saw a lizard.”
She can’t believe it’s been 15 years.
The Specter of the Past
Alex is driving along the backroads, heading home after seeing his parents that morning. He sees a couple with their small child on the side of the road. It looks as if they have a flat, and the man is having some difficulty. Alex pulls up behind them and gets out, “Need a hand? I have my tools with me.”
The guy, Sam, is more than grateful for help. He hadn’t anticipated having car trouble and had taken most of his tools out of the trunk to make room for his sons’ luggage and camping gear.
After changing the tire, Alex starts to gather his tools and dust off his pants. Sam thanks him for his help and offers him a few bucks for gas. Alex starts to wave the money away, when he looks up and notices a large vehicle coming down the road toward them.
Whoever is in the vehicle appears to be SHOOTING at them. Alex knows they have nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. As the vehicle gains speed, he hears two more gunshots before throwing himself behind the car and onto the ground.
Sam and his wife stare at Alex in disbelief. Alex’s face is dirt and tear-stained as he quickly gets up and wipes his face. Alex attempts to explain, his voice shaking, that he was in the military and completed a few tours in Afghanistan—that he had lost some friends. Sam places his hand on Alex’s shoulder, “Enough said. I had a cousin I grew up with, and when he came back, he had a tough time. Thank you for helping us out today.”
Alex slowly walks back to his car. He gets in and sits down. Sam and his family drive off, waving. Alex shakes his head in disbelief.
How could he freak out at the sound of a truck backfiring? How could he be shaken up that bad after so many years? He left that life behind him, and that’s where he wished it would stay.
It’s normal to feel this way… right??
Shane drives home from work. This week she’s taking one of her many different routes home. Since her breakup, she never takes the same route home twice in a week.
She sticks to busy streets and makes sure she runs all her errands before sunset. If she can avoid going anywhere after work, she does. Shane would much rather go straight home from work without delay.
She gets home and pulls into the garage. She waits for the door to close before she gets out. She then goes directly into her kitchen and shuts that door. She sets the garage alarm and bolts the door leading into the garage.
She does a quick walk through of the house, making sure everything is just as she left it that morning before work. She even checks that the transparent tape is still on the front door and that the can of soda is balanced on the door knob. It wasn’t always this way.
Shane recently got out of a two-year, physically and emotionally abusive relationship. It took her a while to get the strength to leave, but, with a lot of support from friends, family and police, she was able to do it.
Chris was controlling—always keeping tabs on Shane. He even put a GPS device on her car and phone. If Shane was a few minutes late from work, there were consequences. Chris wanted to control all aspects of Shane’s life: what she wore, whom she spent time with—even time spent with family. Shane was proud of herself for finally leaving and starting over.
Chris gave her a hard time, even after the restraining order, so Shane decided to take extra precautions: She made sure not to be followed; she bought extra locks and cameras for her house; she stayed home most of the time. She knew eventually she could get back to the way she used to be.
Now, Shane is easily startled by loud noises. When she hears people arguing, she gets tense or becomes anxious. She doesn’t like being alone, especially at night. But a part of her knows that if she even thought of dating again or having friends over, Chris would find out.
Besides, it’s only been a year, it’s normal to feel this way, right?
Suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
When people think of emotional wounds, or trauma, they often think of stories like those of Susan, Alex, or Shane…
… stories that explain PTSD: enduring physical pain, serving in battle, or surviving domestic violence. These stories have similar themes:
Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Having nightmares, flashbacks, reliving the event, or experiencing major distress when in a situation similar to the experienced trauma?
Avoidance
Having particular thoughts or feelings about the trauma? Avoiding activities or having conversations related to the trauma? Feeling withdrawn, numb to emotions, or disinterested?
Arousal
Feeling “on edge”? Difficulties concentrating or sleeping?
The Many Forms of Big “T” and Little “t” Trauma
There are so many other signs and symptoms of trauma, though. Have you experienced any of the following disturbances?
Panic attacks? Complicated grief? Haunting memories? Phobias? Pain disorders? Performance anxiety? Stress? Addictions? Sexual or physical abuse?
We must keep in mind that in addition to Big “T” trauma—those major events where it is easy to trace the origin of what may be causing these signs and symptoms …
These disturbances can be present following Little “t” trauma—those overwhelming but “less traumatic” experiences that negatively affect our emotions, beliefs, and physical sensations.
Whatever the circumstances, trauma is any event beyond a person’s ability to effectively cope at the time.
I can help.
In therapy, you’ll learn and practice a number of helping coping skills. Here are some examples of the work we’ll do… together.
Journals: Writing down your thoughts—getting them out of your head and down on paper.
Support: Creating a list of people you can call or text when you need support or someone to talk to.
Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is one of the most important skills to help you manage PTSD and trauma-related disturbances.
Exercise: Doing physical exercise can help reduce stress.
Sleep: Sleeping helps you fight fatigue and feeling low.
Breath: Practicing breathing exercises to help slow down your thoughts.
A Safe, Supportive Place
I like to start off slow.
We start by working on the therapeutic relationship, building rapport.
You’re never forced to talk. I’m willing to listen whenever you’re ready to discuss your wounds or trauma. I let you take the lead, because it’s your story to tell.
While in session, I provide a safe space to help process your feelings and share your fears.
I’ll stay with you through this journey.
Learning and Healing… Together
In session, we’ll learn what your triggers are and how to anticipate and/or handle them together, until you can manage them on your own.
Along the way, I’ll also encourage activity. When you do things you enjoy, it helps take your mind off focusing on the trauma, if even for a few minutes. This may help you recover faster.
Let’s learn and heal your emotional wounds… together.
Are you ready to take small steps toward BIG CHANGE? Call today: (559) 360-7918